The first conversation about future possibilities took place yesterday. I was able to speak with our head pastor about things. It seems that they would love for me to stay, but there are some things that they will not be able to extend to me. Though some things are important, I do not want to make a decision based upon "rewards." I have sent out a batch of resumes to churches in IL. I don't know that anything will come of them. All of the positions were preaching positions, which I lack experience and probably maturity to be in those positions. However, I think the main thing I will look at in all scenarios is that I have an opportunity to grow, and also that God is leading me.
I have thought a lot about the option to stay here. It may be the smart thing to do considering I could gain a lot of experience. It would probably serve me well to experience how God shapes this congregation. However, I have also thought a lot about the options elsewhere. Knowing I will most likely leave in less than five years is a difficult idea to throw into the mix. However, God will lead me to the next step, and then He will lead me from there. My plans are not that solid compared to His plans. It is very good to know that we are wanted, and that the desires God has put on my heart fit in here.
Speaking of the desires God has put on my heart, I could not sleep Tuesday night. I got up after Krissy was asleep and went into our closet. I started writing things out. I sketched some things trying to piece together the model of discipleship that Jesus demonstrated in his short but effective ministry. As I thought through things I had learned from T-Net, and from the Great Commission, I started trying to put Scriptures together. I have come up with something Picasso might think makes sense, but not the rest of the world. Jesus had people come and see what He taught and what He did. He turned water into wine in Cana, and He healed all those who came from miles around to see what was going on. Then Jesus took a bit of a step, and began to have people follow Him. He had them watch and learn what He was doing. So He told them what He was doing and why He was doing it, and then He showed them how to do it. Granted, living by the power of the Holy Spirit is not something you just show someone how to do. So then, Jesus transferred the authority in Matthew 10. He let them do it, and He supervised. They were like heralds, going before Him telling people that the kingdom of heaven was here. The He came behind them teaching and preaching. Then after He was dead, buried, and raised from the dead, He gave them this commission: Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. Then the remark that He is with us always creates the bookend to the book of Matthew. He told them to repeat the process.
If you really break down the Great Commission, the overarching idea is to make disciples. The way you make disciples is to go, baptize, and teach. This means we have two main pieces of how to make disciples. We must evangelize and equip. So often people think making disciples means evangelizing, and they forget about equipping. Then, on the other end of the spectrum, some think making disciples means Bible study and intrinsic teaching, but they forget that the end (goal) of discipleship is to reproduce and make more disciples.
So my dilemma comes with trying to combine the Great Commission with the way Jesus modeled discipleship. Jesus had people come and see what He was doing and why He was doing it, then He showed those who followed how to do what He was doing, then He allowed them to do what He was doing (with supervision), and then He told them to do it without His physical presence. As T-Net would say, these four steps are "Come and See", "Follow Me", "Be With Me", and "Remain in Me". So how does the Great Commission mix with that?
It seems to me that if we tell people what we are, and why we are what we are, then they will be drawn to see if we really are what we say we are: disciples of Christ. That's called evangelism (Go), spreading the good news. The end of evangelism is not just to tell the good news and walk away. We should ask them to follow us, so we can show them how this is lived out. By watching us respond to Christ through our relationship with Him and other believers, they will be drawn, and will repent and be baptized (which is the end (goal) of evangelism). But then we must begin to allow them to live their faith out, but with supervision. We must hold them accountable and give them pointers along the way to becoming mature (if any of us ever really get there). That's equipping (teaching). So now as we look at what we have, we have a disciple. What does a disciple do? They repeat the process that brought them to the point of "disciple" with others. They go and baptize and teach.
Like I said, it seems rather abstract in my mind, so I can only imagine what it looks like to others. How can I make this plain? How can I teach this so that people can grasp this? Lord, give me wisdom. You said if any of us lacks wisdom we should ask you who gives all good gifts.
It may seem silly to develop this whole process, but I feel that there are believers in the church who do not truly understand because they are being led by pastors who do not truly understand what it means to be a disciple. May we truly grasp this and teach others so that they can truly grasp it. This is not a game, and God does not desire for the blind to lead the blind. If only I truly grasped this. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. May I always remember what Jesus repeated, that he desires mercy (covenant loyalty), not sacrifice.
